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Margreet de Heer's avatar

I think I'm a melancholy artist as well. In fact, I sometimes cultivate my bittersweet feelings, just to see where they can take me. Condolences on your losses!

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Kelcey Ervick's avatar

Thanks, Margreet. I've certainly done that too--crank some emotional tunes to get in my feels. 😂 You also infuse your work with lots of humor, which I love!

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Beth Spencer's avatar

So sorry about your friend. I love your Sadness jersey misread. Isn’t it wonderful how soothing humor can be? I watched all of Curb Your Enthusiasm in the last few months. Laughing at Larry David was such a comfort when I needed it! 😂

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Kelcey Ervick's avatar

Thanks so much, Beth. You have such whimsical art that feels like it has deep truths behind it. That's great about the binge-watch--we certainly need the balm of humor!

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Colleen Gonzalez's avatar

Oh wow this really resonates. I lost three family members this year and all the other things. Those questions seemed more like ways to describe me! I love your drawings, I find ways to laugh a lot and look at small wonders in the world. I'm so sorry for your losses.

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Kelcey Ervick's avatar

Yes, with those quiz questions I'm like, "Wait, some people DON'T get filled with emotion looking at old photos?" I didn't even know that was an option. I'm sorry for your losses too, Colleen.

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B.A. Lampman's avatar

🙋‍♀️

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Kelcey Ervick's avatar

Haha, yep!

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Jay Bremyer's avatar

Such a sweet melancholy take on creativity and coping through art that has heart and sting, keeps you up, doesn't put you to sleep. This life too, losing so many, ultimately all friends, family, ourselves on this side of the mystery, ultimately ... Well? Looking at it from the other, a post this lifeline, a what? Ancient anglo saxon and celtic and viking and all old sailor sagas, sea people singing as we row the ship, cross the sea: "Where have our old friends gone?" Singing. Singing together even if we're alone! Singing for each other. Love just keeps us going. Sometimes just barely. But here we are, still, those of us who are. Thanks.

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Kelcey Ervick's avatar

Thank you for this, Jay. Your words are like an incantation, a song, singing and singing. ❤️ (Also glad to hear you made it to the Bend!)

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Jill Crammond's avatar

I’m so so glad that I happened to open your email with this Substack today. Oh my goodness, did it hit home! I feel so seen! I’m going to work harder to channel my sadness/blue periods into art. And I have Bittersweet and now I’m going to pull it out and finally read it!

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Kelcey Ervick's avatar

Thank you, Jill! I was unsure about this post but am grateful to know that we creative types can bond over the blues!

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Madalyn Baldanzi's avatar

Love this. I also cried at Marta’s mom last night! Saw wicked today and appeared to be the only person in the entire theatre absolutely bawling to defying gravity at the end? (My god can Erivo SING!!!!!) Thank you for making me feel seen!

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Kelcey Ervick's avatar

Oh man, you may be the only one of my readers who knows who Marta is (not to mention her MOM!), so thank you for this validation of my tears! Will have to get back to you on Wicked, but I'm a total crybaby, so it probably goes without saying. ❤️

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Nancy's avatar

Ohhh...watching Marta's mom made it harder to watch the game through the tears, but made the win even sweeter! Thank you both for your reactions, and thank you Kelcey for this wonderful post. ❤️

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Kelcey Ervick's avatar

Yay, another women’s soccer fan! Thanks, Nancy! ❤️⚽️

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Weston Parker's avatar

Such a lovely touch you have Kelcey. I posted this morning about the Muse and I think you're right, that the inspiration for a lot of creativity comes from all those things you mentioned.

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Kelcey Ervick's avatar

I just read your post, and we are very much on the same wavelength. In an earlier draft of this post, I gave a second reason that I feel especially tuned in these days: I'm doing what you say in your post--I'm doing a lot of making these days. ("make tracks, make a mess, make something, make anything.") A lot of it is experimental and a mess, but I know that's a big part of it.

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Weston Parker's avatar

Even though you are far younger than my Mom, born in 1926, you have the same approach. I am certain you would have enjoyed her, quiet as she was.

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Kelcey Ervick's avatar

It feels like an honor to be associated with her in this way. 🥰

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Weston Parker's avatar

She was a good egg.

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Kelcey Ervick's avatar

❤️❤️❤️

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Anne Belov's avatar

Somehow you always hit the nail right on the head.

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Kelcey Ervick's avatar

❤️🐼❤️🐼❤️

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Anne Belov's avatar

Panda love back at ya!

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Maura Gaughan's avatar

Gosh I love this one. For a while now I’ve neglected my impulses to create and have felt like what I do make is unshareable because it so often springs from a painful, sensitive place and, well, “no one wants THAT.” Currently working on a project to reintegrate art making in my life and I’m so excited to bring this massive chunk of me out of exile!

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Kelcey Ervick's avatar

Thank you, Maura, and I'm so glad you've got a project emerging! I believe "THAT" is exactly what people want! Especially when transformed into art that opens it up to others. Another great quote from BITTERSWEET is, “[O]ur longing is the great gateway to belonging"--to connection through the tough stuff.

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Maura Gaughan's avatar

Thanks so much for sharing an additional quote! Just so happens that BELONGING is exactly what I’ve always longed for most… I think we all long for it. And I do believe there is a gateway.

Looks like I need to check this book out. :)

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Kelcey Ervick's avatar

I'm glad you like the quote! I collected so many and wasn't sure which ones to use in the post! But I love the link between longing and belonging. ❤️

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Jeni Hankins's avatar

Thank you so very much for this letter. I am definitely with you in this. You have expressed the sadness spark so beautifully.

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Kelcey Ervick's avatar

I love that term "sadness spark"! That's just what it is! Thanks, Jeni 🥰

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Aditi Taswala's avatar

Love how you intertwine feelings and words- it makes for a calm reading.❤️❤️❤️

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Kelcey Ervick's avatar

Thanks so much, Aditi! 🥰

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Diane N's avatar

AGREE!

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Crystal Dufour's avatar

This whole post made my eyes fill with tears lol. All I've read about how I'm wired, and hadn't heard this angle mentioned! I do know I recoil at all the "good vibes only" nonsense we've heard the last few years. I like my bittersweet vibes, but just wasn't sure why. Grabbing her book today, thank you so much for sharing all of this!

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Kelcey Ervick's avatar

Oh man do I hate "good vibes only"!! Bittersweet vibes forever! ❤️❤️❤️

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Tom Hart's avatar

I like this one Kelcey, thank you!

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Kelcey Ervick's avatar

Thank you, Tom! Miss you, Tom!

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Ziggy's avatar

Thank you for sharing. I've been feeling this in a big way lately. I've been reminding myself that even if I am sad, (and there is so much to be sad about these days) being present in the moment is the best way forward. Taking the time to observe the world around me and actively engaging with the small mundane bits helps remind me that I am alive and there are good things around.

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Kelcey Ervick's avatar

Yes, yes, yes. Thanks for this comment, Ziggy. ❤️

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Mary Carter's avatar

I'm right there with you. I'm recovering from pneumonia. The lethargy of my ill body satuates every cell, yet I feel hyper-perceptive, everything registering, leaving imprints, like handprints in the sand. Thanksgiving is four days away. I will dry-brine the turday this afternoon, preparing. My husband filled the feeders yesterday, so I'm on the watch for Juncos, my harbinger of winter. Everything matters, everything leaving traces like a collage.

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Kelcey Ervick's avatar

I can hear your hyper-perception in your poetic comment! "Everything matters, everything leaving traces like a collage." I hope you recover well and soon, and enjoy Thanksgiving! xo

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