Fellow firstborn here. Oldest daughter. Oldest child. Oldest grandchild, all three sets of grandparents (grandfather remarried). Oldest great-grandchild all branches.
That level of expectation has been tough to deal with.
Missed this one somehow in the clutter of my inbox but Ah, yes, there's Kelcey's Habit popping up and just in before my artificially produced for today dead line 3/4 of the way thru ... well, pinch me again, and talk more when you have time, about perfectionism, but don't try for that 'cause too much makes a dull Kelcey. Yup.
Just what I needed this morning ! Now I have to make a DEADLINE for myself … oh yeah and get to work. ✍️ It was so much fun being with you on Saturday. Thanks again Kelcey!!
As a first born daughter who really should chill out and let things go sometimes, I couldn’t agree more! I also love that 4000 weeks book. But I still haven’t got into Substack video 😆 because it won’t be perfect, or even close.
I was going to buy “time anxiety” because I thought that was the official cover. Of course it was your drawing, now we need an edition with YOUR cover, please.
I'm too responsible even for deadlines. When I know I have one coming up I get all jumpy and finish early. I have a big one for a piece in BACKPACKER due on Friday. Only I panicked and wrote it yesterday. Don't tell my editor.
I fully understand the logic of this thinking and deadlines have worked to motivate me in school but now when it is a creative deadline vs a my paycheck depends on this deadline, I absolutely rebel. Nothing triggers me to yell fu ur not my mom and run away like trying to impose a deadline. And then the self flagellation if I don’t meet these arbitrary deadlines makes me want to avoid doing anything at all. And none of the usual sort of advice (such as quantity vs quality and assing it) seems to penetrate this box I put myself in.
Haha, "fu ur not my mom"! Love it. Yeah, I'm pretty against being told to do anything by anyone including by myself, but it has been helpful to have book and comics deadlines to light a fire in me!
Thank you, that was wonderful. I never suffered from perfectionism, I was the fifth son in a very raucous family- 3 older brothers needed to repeat grades so I given little to no expectations and curiously, as a result, I never turned in a paper late. To this day I am surprised when a poem arrives and turns out well. Thanks for all that you do.
I am certain that every single person who knows me would not think that. I tell my wife, who does suffer from perfectionism at times, let's not let perfection get in the way of getting things done. It was always a battle for progress vs perfect. I remember as a child arriving to school without having done the homework and I didn't like that feeling. By the time high school began I wanted to play sports, lots of them, and needed to keep up a good academic average.
When building a house you have to do it correctly because building inspectors are always coming and you want a house to be self respectable. By the way, I got your book in the mail, "The Keeper". Looking forward to it.
Okay, it sounds like you know yourself better than I do, and you're probably not a perfectionist. :) This is a helpful description. Thanks for getting The Keeper! Hope you enjoy. Let me know if you had similar disconnects with art vs sports...
Fellow firstborn here. Oldest daughter. Oldest child. Oldest grandchild, all three sets of grandparents (grandfather remarried). Oldest great-grandchild all branches.
That level of expectation has been tough to deal with.
🥰 thre quarter ass it is! Fellow firstborn overachieving here
Missed this one somehow in the clutter of my inbox but Ah, yes, there's Kelcey's Habit popping up and just in before my artificially produced for today dead line 3/4 of the way thru ... well, pinch me again, and talk more when you have time, about perfectionism, but don't try for that 'cause too much makes a dull Kelcey. Yup.
Just what I needed this morning ! Now I have to make a DEADLINE for myself … oh yeah and get to work. ✍️ It was so much fun being with you on Saturday. Thanks again Kelcey!!
As a first born daughter who really should chill out and let things go sometimes, I couldn’t agree more! I also love that 4000 weeks book. But I still haven’t got into Substack video 😆 because it won’t be perfect, or even close.
I am reminded of Douglas Adams..."I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.”
I was going to buy “time anxiety” because I thought that was the official cover. Of course it was your drawing, now we need an edition with YOUR cover, please.
That's my illustration of the actual cover!! :)
I'm too responsible even for deadlines. When I know I have one coming up I get all jumpy and finish early. I have a big one for a piece in BACKPACKER due on Friday. Only I panicked and wrote it yesterday. Don't tell my editor.
I fully understand the logic of this thinking and deadlines have worked to motivate me in school but now when it is a creative deadline vs a my paycheck depends on this deadline, I absolutely rebel. Nothing triggers me to yell fu ur not my mom and run away like trying to impose a deadline. And then the self flagellation if I don’t meet these arbitrary deadlines makes me want to avoid doing anything at all. And none of the usual sort of advice (such as quantity vs quality and assing it) seems to penetrate this box I put myself in.
Haha, "fu ur not my mom"! Love it. Yeah, I'm pretty against being told to do anything by anyone including by myself, but it has been helpful to have book and comics deadlines to light a fire in me!
Dear Kelcey!
This is great!
I love "who has time for perfection"!
And thanks for sharing Chris Guillebeau's concept of "doing things three-quarters ass"!
And I love the rest of it but no time to tell you everything I love gotta go!
Love
Myq
Haha byyyyyeeee!!!!
Thank you, that was wonderful. I never suffered from perfectionism, I was the fifth son in a very raucous family- 3 older brothers needed to repeat grades so I given little to no expectations and curiously, as a result, I never turned in a paper late. To this day I am surprised when a poem arrives and turns out well. Thanks for all that you do.
Hmm never turned something late? Maybe you are unconsciously a perfectionist!
I am certain that every single person who knows me would not think that. I tell my wife, who does suffer from perfectionism at times, let's not let perfection get in the way of getting things done. It was always a battle for progress vs perfect. I remember as a child arriving to school without having done the homework and I didn't like that feeling. By the time high school began I wanted to play sports, lots of them, and needed to keep up a good academic average.
When building a house you have to do it correctly because building inspectors are always coming and you want a house to be self respectable. By the way, I got your book in the mail, "The Keeper". Looking forward to it.
Okay, it sounds like you know yourself better than I do, and you're probably not a perfectionist. :) This is a helpful description. Thanks for getting The Keeper! Hope you enjoy. Let me know if you had similar disconnects with art vs sports...
I LOVE 3/4 ass, so much better than half ass. Thanks for sharing, especially your report card.
Thanks! It also has the benefit of making me laugh: 3/4 ass! :)
We should start some sort of First Born Daughter Support Group. It would be PERFECT. Or at least it would meet on time.
Hahaha! Seriously a lot of FBDs around here!
I saw that. Small world!
Always a delight to find your substack in my inbox. Feels like a gift every time.
Aww thank you, Janie! 🥰
As a fellow first born daughter—YUP.
Solidarity!